Kaleidoscopic

Sometimes I am a mess, trapped within my own distress,
Too tangled up to express myself,
In such times, my love, I want you there,
To untangle me with your tender care.
While others may read my lips,
You should read my eyes.
Understand when I hold back my tears,
And put on a brave disguise.
For I am a puzzle, complex and unique,
And my smiles can often deceive.
But I want you to know my soul – the real me,
To see the depths beneath the surface I conceal.
Please recognize when I am feeling nervous
Or simply hiding my tears.

I have a fear of attachment,
Of holding on too tight,
For I know how it feels to cling to ashes,
And watch them fade out of sight.
But with you, my love, I want to feel secure,
And I know I won’t regret holding onto you.

Sometimes I am suffocated,
Weighed down by my own fears,
And my mind races with worry,
All through the night and into the years.
I am strong, but even if I don’t ask, at times I need help,
And in those moments, I want you to read my mind,
Before fear, madness, and anger take over,
And I lose sight of what I’m trying to find.
I hope you see through the mask I wear,
The one I use to dodge the world,
And know that I keep my weaknesses well-hidden,
Only showcasing my strengths.
I want you to know it’s not to deceive,
But to save my soul, to protect and preserve.

I have a fear of betrayal,
A fear that’s deep and true,
For I’ve been let down by loved ones before,
And I’m afraid it might also happen with you.
In your arms, I want to feel safe and secure,
And I know you’ll never change with the weather,
So please assure me, my love,
That our bond will remain unbreakable, forever.

Sometimes I am so scared,
That I cannot even move,
I hate the darkness all around me,
But at times, I even fear the lighted rooms.
I am strong, I know, and I can fight my own battles,
But when I’m falling apart and I push you away,
That’s when I need you to pull me even closer,
And remind me of the light that shines in my heart.

I have a fear of containment,
Of being trapped and locked away,
For like a bird that flies up high,
I need my freedom to spread my wings and sway,
But I want you to remind me that with you, my dreams are safe,
And I can trust you with my heart and soul,
So please reassure me, my love,
That my freedom will always be mine to control.
In your arms, I want to find my solace,
And in your love, I want to find my home.
I want you to be the light in my darkness,
And the strength in my bones.

Like a kaleidoscope, I am a myriad of hues,
A mosaic of joys, sorrows, and muses.
For while sometimes I’m lost in distress,
At others, I am a girl so wild and free.

I’m the one who dances on tables,
Singing with abandon and such glee,
Who mimics creatures to make you smile,
Nuzzling your face like a lioness, carefree.
I speak of science and history,
Of music, theology, and all things mystery,
I’ll laugh when you don’t know constellations,
I’ll show them to you with great jubilation.

My wit is sharp, my references clever,
My stories lasting and memories forever,
Like the time I crafted Santa from cardboard,
Or when I built a sandcastle fit for a lord.
I see the beauty in flaws and imperfections,
And remind you of your worth and essence,
That your humanity is the most precious thing,
And the source of your inner radiance.

I’m not one for being quiet or sweet,
I’m a rainbow of colors that’s hard to beat.
A blend of laughter and tears,
Bound by love that conquers fears.
In the symphony of our hearts’ embrace,
We will find perfection in our shared grace.
If you can’t love all of my hues,
Then our love will be hard to continue.
But if I am your rainbow, my love,
I’ll show you how each color shines above.
I’ll be your mess, and you’ll be mine,
It will be a perfect deal to sign.

– Maroof