Kaleidoscopic

Sometimes I am a mess,

Too complicated to express,

Unable to decompress,

At such times my love! I want you there,

To untangle myself.

Everyone can read the lips,

I want you to read my eyes.

See when I am holding back my tears,

And trying to stay strong.

I want you to understand that I’m a puzzle,

And to differentiate my smiles.

So, that when everyone is fooled,

You won’t be among them.

I have a fear of attachment,

A fear powerful and true.

For holding on tightly to ashes,

Is something I would do?

At such times my love! I want you to remind me,

I won’t regret holding onto you.

Sometimes I’m too suffocated,

That it gets hard for me to breathe.

Thinking about all my mind holds dear,

Stressing all night long.

I am a tough individual,

I know how to handle things on my own.

But I want you to read my thoughts,

When I can’t express myself.

Before anger, fear, madness consumes me,

Remind me who I am.

I want you to see through the mask I put on,

A mask to dodge the world,

When everything goes wrong.

I keep my weaknesses well hidden,

And my strengths are all I ever show,

I want you to realize that I do this to save my soul.

I have a fear of betrayal,

A fear so genuine and strong.

My loved ones always shatter my trust,

You are different how would I confirm?

At such times my love! I want you to make me believe,

Your love for me will not change with changing weather.

Sometimes I am so scared,

It gets hard for me to move.

I hate darkness all over,

But at times I fear the lighted rooms.

I am courageous and brave enough.

I can fight my battles alone.

Asking for help – I dislike,

It makes me feel less strong.

When I push you further away,

And  you see me about to reach the bottom,

Pull me even closer then before.

Give me your hand, rescue me before I’m lost.

Show me my light,

Pull me out of the dark.

I have a fear of containment,

A fear that won’t go.

Caging a bird that flies up high?

Killing it – is all that would do.

At such times my love! I want you to assure me,

My freedom will never be taken away by you.

In contrast to this,

There is another side to me.

I am the girl who will stand on a table,

And sing at the top of my lungs on the highway.

And act like a chicken or quail or velociraptor,

Or nuzzle your face like a lion to make a point.

I am the girl who will talk about science,

And music and theology and history.

And point out constellations, laughing,

When you don’t know the big dipper’s name.

I am the girl who will make witty references,

To classic literature and science fiction.

And will tell you stories of how I once,

Made a gingerbread replica of a lighthouse.

I am the girl who will point out your flaws,

And take you outside to see the stars.

And remind you how human you are,

And what a wonderful thing that is to be.

I am not good at being quiet,

Because that’s not who I am.

I am not the sweet girl,

Who will leave you with a smile,

And a touch,

And a glance,

Or a single word.

There is nothing of this fashion of romance,

About me.

And if you can’t love all of my colors, honey,

How would we last long?

But if I am your rainbow,

I’ll show you how beautiful all these colors can be.

I’ll be your mess, you be mine,

That would be a perfect deal to sign.

 

-By Maroof

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