If I am your Rainbow

Sometimes I am a mess,

Too complicated to express,

Unable to decompress,

At such times my love! I want you there,

To untangle myself.

Everyone can read the lips,

I want you to read my eyes.

See when I am holding back my tears,

And trying to stay strong.

I want you to understand that I’m a puzzle,

And to differentiate my smiles.

So, that when everyone is fooled,

You won’t be among them.

I have a fear of attachment,

A fear powerful and true.

For holding on tightly to ashes,

Is something I would do?

At such times my love! I want you to remind me,

I won’t regret holding onto you.

Sometimes I’m too suffocated,

That it gets hard for me to breathe.

Thinking about all my mind holds dear,

Stressing all night long.

I am a tough individual,

I know how to handle things on my own.

But I want you to read my thoughts,

When I can’t express myself.

Before anger, fear, madness consumes me,

Remind me who I am.

I want you to see through the mask I put on,

A mask to dodge the world,

When everything goes wrong.

I keep my weaknesses well hidden,

And my strengths are all I ever show,

I want you to realize that I do this to save my soul.

I have a fear of betrayal,

A fear so genuine and strong.

My loved ones always shatter my trust,

You are different how would I confirm?

At such times my love! I want you to make me believe,

Your love for me will not change with changing weather.

Sometimes I am so scared,

It gets hard for me to move.

Used to hate darkness all over,

But at times I fear the lighted rooms.

I am courageous and brave enough.

I can fight my battles alone.

Asking for help – I dislike,

It makes me feel less strong.

When I push you further away,

And  you see me about to reach the bottom,

Pull me even closer then before.

Give me your hand, rescue me before I’m lost.

Show me my light,

Pull me out of the dark.

I have a fear of containment,

A fear that won’t go.

Caging a bird that flies up high?

Killing it – is all that would do.

At such times my love! I want you to assure me,

My freedom will never be taken away by you.

Contemporarily,

I am the girl who will stand on a table,

And sing at the top of my lungs on the highway.

And act like a chicken or quail or velociraptor,

Or nuzzle your face like a lion to make a point.

I am the girl who will talk about science,

And music and theology and history.

And point out constellations, laughing,

When you don’t know the big dipper’s name.

I am the girl who will make witty references,

To classic literature and science fiction.

And will tell you stories of how I once,

Made a gingerbread replica of a lighthouse.

I am the girl who will point out your flaws,

And take you outside to see the stars.

And remind you how human you are,

And what a wonderful thing that is to be.

I am not good at being quiet,

Because that’s not who I am.

I am not the sweet girl,

Who will leave you with a smile,

And a touch,

And a glance,

Or a single word.

There is nothing of this fashion of romance,

About me.

And if you can’t love all of my colors my love,

How would we last long?

But if I am your rainbow,

I’ll show you how beautiful all these colors can be.

I’ll be your mess, you be mine,

That would be a perfect deal to sign.

 

-By Maroof

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Shades of Aquatic

Much like god of seas-Poseidon,

I am bold & I am valiant.

This place is so unfamiliar,

As if I never belonged here.

I run all around the land,

Seeking for an identity. 

I feel like I live in a jungle,

But my home is a limitless sea.

I walk through woods pale olive green,

With a heart that is all shades of aquatic.

I think I must be a mermaid,

Wildness of waters run deep within me.

Untamed, majestic & free,

Like waters I have no boundaries.

I am not afraid of intensities,

Shallow is what haunts me.

These lands are all large detention centers,

But no one can restrain the Sea.

Need to explore its mysterious infinity,

A tonic of watery wild affinity.

It is life, 

And a way of life. 

It is hidden depths,

It is unconscious minds. 

It is hopes and dreams,

Fears and shadows.

It reflects deepest urges,

Of our senses & psyche.

It is the archetypal life,

Giver but can also take one.

It is dangerous and unpredictable, 

Powerful and fathomless.

It can be still, calm and serene,

It can be peaceful and embracing.

It’s can be dwelling place of monsters,

Or inside it you can find mystical creatures.

It can give access to unknown worlds,

There can be places of transformation.

It is a soul’s awakening,

It is a holy cleansing.

It is an irresistible force,

It will plunge through deep ravines and spread over.

I hear it roaring like enraged beast,

It’s calling over – no one can stop me.

A tiny drizzle today,

Tomorrow will be a Wild Sea.

 

– By Maroof

Untamed

Mortals always complained,

“She’s wild,

She can’t be tamed.”

They say I am not from,

Same place as the rest of them.

They call it being born wrong,

What I recognize as “Born strong.”

Every word I utter, to them

Is a Rebellion.

They live Merely to please,

But I can’t dance on their beats.

A soul not scared of being on her own,

Just like an Eagle, I don’t fly in flock.

I’d rather fight the current,

Than going with flow of society.

Wandering around like a gypsy,

Designer of my own destiny.

I am the stormy Sea,

Nobody retains me.

I’m vulnerable as all hearts are,

Yet savage & free,

And can handle a few scars.

Silence consistently baffles me,

The noise is how I breath.

Don’t tell me who I can be,

Cause’ this loud & messy version is the real me.

Woman with walls as high as mountains,

But love as deep as the ocean.

Protecting myself is in the reach of my arms,

I am a one-woman army.

I don’t consider them my rivals,

A fierce woman takes her own directions.

Yes, my life is a conquest,

It’s always me against me.

Who understands me well enough to define my Legacy?

No one else but I.

The wars I fought, most internal,

The ones I battled trying to fit in the world.

Those inner defeats and the victories,

Who else tasted but I.

Not that old cliché,

I am a rare type.

So far I’ve had no complaints,

Great spirits always encountered opposition,

From mediocre brains.

 

-By Maroof

Roots of a woman

Oh daughters of Eve! have you forgotten who you are?

What you’re here for and why you have come so far?

Take a second to reflect on how deep your purpose goes,

You were admired back then as Goddesses.

The Creators of life,

Connected to magical Moon by your cycles.

Protectors of the kingdom,

Voice of your people.

Kings protected & avenged,

Queens were their conscience & council,

Awaken your royal,

Your revival is essential.

You were sent to give him life,

Save his life, enhance his life.

Advise his ego to see the heart,

Feminine life with purpose,

The revolutionary ones,

Having an impact on nations.

You are destined to be revered for your kind heart,

Gifts of life, intuition & foresight,

Yet you twerk for applause?

Don’t remember chronicles of your mighty cause?

Make him bow down in reverence,

Due to the beautiful essence,

Of your heart, soul and mental capacity,

Not through the movement of your body.

You have been proved as leaders & lovers, Stand up,

True goddesses fought their way back up.

You need to get again,

The glory you once attained.

Be the fire,

Feared but never afraid.

Earn it,

Don’t demanded it.

Never forget how vital you are as a human,

Don’t forget your roots as a woman.

 

– By Maroof

 

Innocence

I walk into the world with love limb first,

Unaware of fact that what’s waiting ahead is worst.

I try to protect people,

Not knowing that I am the one who’s unsafe.

You misbehave when your anger overtakes,

And I blame myself for your mistakes.

You stab me with a sharp knife,

Then say my wounds aren’t greater than yours,

So I shouldn’t cry.

I burn to death in the fires you start,

Get third degree burns still manage to forgive you with my whole heart.

Yet you complain that you needed me,

Furthermore, that I was selfish for not being there that time.

Ignoring that I haven’t fully recovered the damage you made,

I head up to your aid.

Begging your pardon for being late,

Forgetting that I am badly bleeding and you are not so affectionate.

You haunt me,

With your merciless taunts.

You play with my mind,

You know how to make a kind heart feel terrible for mistakes they haven’t done.

That’s the thing about us innocent ones,

We get hurt yet apologize other’s for wrongs they’d done to us.

It’s easy for you to make us feel like criminals,

Because we are too innocent to understand that we were the ones shot by your guns.

But I do unto others as I’d have them do to me,

So you’ll never find me crossing someone’s boundaries.

As a return gift of caring about others I get huge pains,

To heal then I isolate myself & step back into the world with my spirits high again.

Assuming that maybe things will change this time,

Oh! no no no my child,

It’s a clever world that will make you suffer in its regime.

Innocence kills,

In a world like this.

Change yourself, my dear,

There’s no place for your innocence here.

By Maroof

To tame a fiery Beast

You may not speak with compassion,

But your resolution shows you felt it.

Gripped on to my composure,

Until I was all alone.

Then emerged all emotions,

I couldn’t hold onto anymore.

And there are times,

When I prefer,

No words spoken or heard,

But only me & my thoughts.

I guess we’re all difficult,

But I’m way worse.

I know we’re not always going,

To see deep within us.

I hope for just a minute,

You ponder what I say.

You are so hard to please,

But I still keep on trying.

It seems when the Full Moon is near,

Faces of the past try to roll back in,

With the tides,

But not this time, my dear.

The heaven & the hell,

Are both located in our heads.

You are too strong to show me,

A sign of weakness,

And that is your weakness, my love.

I love you,

Not for a reward.

But because,

I can’t help it.

To ease his soul,

Then I spoke,

“And love is as deadly to a woman,

As war is to a man.

But even if we fall through,

I got you, I promise.”

Maybe it took the tears of a Pisces,

To tame a fiery Beast.

 

-By Maroof

Emancipation

Private with my problems,

People couldn’t understand this.

The problem with communicating is,

Fear of how it’ll be received.

It’s so much easier to smile,

Than to explain my frown.

Feeling disconnected,

From everything,

And everyone else,

But myself.

I’m fluent in my words,

A smart poetess.

At the stage between,

A Goddess of love,

And a wounded female warrior,

I made a wish for a most fulfilling love,

Then the universe brought me love for myself.

It took me this long to find me.

I’ve paid a huge price to earn,

The stubbornness that now I’ve learned.

I keep my heart locked away,

Holding out for something greater.

Maybe my demons are present, armed & ready,

To fight off the demons of others.

I reflect on everything,

And some consider this, 

A mind mayhem.

Maybe I had become so comfortable in my depth,

I became unreachable to those on shore.

I find myself when I’m distant from the world,

An extra ordinary mind,

Going through the mundane motions.

I found myself in a place,

Where society had prohibited,

I found this place within myself,

And no one goes there but me.

Before them,

With them,

After them,

I will be me.

Finally, I freed me.

 

-By Maroof

Love?

He pushed and I waited,

Always out of my reach.

Fast forward 3 years,

The last person to laugh was me.

“Well do you love him?”

Then I thought.

Even if I did,

I wouldn’t say it.

His pride prevents him

From speaking love,

But it can’t stop his heart

From showing it.

I didn’t need words,

Just him.

I love his introverted tendencies,

The parts of him,

That he only shows to me.

Did I love him?

For being good to me.

He gifts me with smiles,

And considers my needs.

“Well do you love him?”

Love?

There’s nothing about him I would change.

Love?

He’s difficult but I understand his ways.

Passive ways,

From wisdom not weakness.

He tests my love endurance.

If I’m ecstatic,

If I’m dramatic,

If I’m enraged,

If I’m afraid,

Even if it’s broken I speak from the heart,

Try to hear me my love.

 

-By Maroof

A Love Like This

He was a dare of,

Should I or shouldn’t I?

I was crazy about him,

But not crazy enough to say it.

“Let him protect you,

Take care of you”

They insist,

I resist.

What if he doesn’t do,

A good job of it?

They said “Be the glue that holds him together,

Learn how to keep a man faithful”

But I had no interest in,

Working to keep him interested.

Impressing people?

Well, I’m done with a life like this.

Would never let me lose myself,

In his face, kiss or arms.

He laid out a card,

His baritone urging me,

To gamble with a boss.

Reluctant with my hand,

All of my cards out.

This time I bet it all, 

And lost.

I couldn’t resist,

A love like this,

A love like his.

I knew it was love when,

I offered my heart & my sanity.

I knew it was love because,

I picture his face more than I saw mine.

I knew it was love when,

He made me love & hate time.

I knew it was love when,

I couldn’t hold back the words.

But every now & then you’ll meet someone,

Who opens your mystery.

The colorful pieces you hide,

Become vibrant in his light.

I’m convinced there is love in this air,

Everyone around me is breathing it.

He makes me question,

Every cynical fact I thought I knew.

He makes me feel beautiful,

In my vulnerable skin.

When there were no games,

We both won that time.

 

-By Maroof

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