Obscurity

Piece by piece,

He unraveled my inner peace.

And all of these vicious, sharp words I hold in,

Cut at my soul instead of his.

He cast me as the queen,

Of his messed-up fantasy.

I want a man who can talk to me & really see,

Lately, the apathy has been killing me.

The fiery rage spread through my veins,

It feels like if I touched him, 

I could set him aflame.

You love me,

This is true.

But where do I come in,

The habits, routines & addictions, 

That you’re attached to?

I am the kindest kind of crazy,

My emotions eat me alive.

And my throat burned from all the fire,

I was too tender to speak.

I get discouraged,

Because he doesn’t understand me.

He say, he loves me beyond anything, 

Then how could he see tears running down my cheeks 

And still not believe?

I love him with the depth of,

My heart & soul.

I’m true to him,

My love is pure.

He belongs to everyone,

Except me.

Trying to connect with stone – Fixed

Doesn’t he want to feel alive?

He shuts me out at the worst times,

And I’m expected to give it time.

I open my heart,

Outside his brick wall.

Cutting my hands & bleeding,

On the iron of his unbendable edges.

I know he’ll hear me,

But never speak.

Darling! The center of my universe is you,

But the issue is that you’re yours too.

And in a weird place,

He just returned to me.

But I don’t know this time,

If he’ll stay or leave.

–By Maroof

Monstrous Me

Give it time they say,

And growth is always pain.

How do you know if it’s growth anyway?

When we crash in life,

It all feels the same.  

Searching for advice, 

But no suggestions fit.

Looking for signs,

But there are no stars for this.

The gods rip me apart for their master plan,

Growing pains just let me keep my heart.

This black cloud hovers all my nights & days,

The least it could do is show me the way.

The lesson is patience and self-restraint,

My angels make me wait.

Dear Universe! The air is cold,

And I can’t hold on more.

I’ve become afraid to wish,

The universe gives but takes away.

Magic & pain,

It’s hard to explain.

So I’ll let my emotions consume me,

Swallow me,

Until I become,

The monstrous me.

–By Maroof

Mystery

There was a deep me,

A geek me,

A peaceful me,

A dreadful me,

A lover in me,

And some fire in me.

But I?

I am ready to grow.

My soul – 

And it’s crazy little adventures.

I follow my heart,

And won’t apologize for it.

I’m an energy snob & not a snob,

There’s a difference.

Does it mean that I have scattered faith?

If I kept myself at a neutral place?

You know, just in case,

Don’t doubt what you don’t know.

I etched some dreams in stone,

Under this full moon.

Making thought magic under Orion,

The stars love my words,

And draw arrangements,

Forces of inspiration,

So these words will be created,

Stuck in solo ways.

There are changes coming soon.

I would sacrifice half of me to deal with the world,

If I have to.

I‘ve been through too much to not have a safety net.

Wrong, smart, or all of the above,

There’s always a plan B,

There’s always a plot twist in my stories.

I understand intoxication,

You‘re free to say & do what you feel.

You just know a part of me,

I’m a universe full of mysteries.

Maybe my issue is I was raised,

With the promise of a fairy tale,

In a generation full of – 

Pride & walls.

But how do you fly freely 

In a bitter world?

The truth is,

I wasn’t used to this.

I never cared to speak about me,

I‘ll speak of the seas,

The stars in the skies,

Before I reveal what’s inside.

My soul?

It is a free bird.

So I should let her go up high,

Releasing my burdens,

One at a time.

Because I want to be free,

And I want to fly.

–By Maroof

You & Me

Always keep your words,

They mean everything to me.

Why ask what I want,

And then not fulfil?

Remember! I gave you, 

The option of free will.

I understand me,

And that was enough.

So if  you understand this,

You know self-love.

The daily struggle,

The daily trip.

I won’t be, 

A damsel in distress.

Play with all of my demons,

And I’ll love the ones in you.

But promise that through the chaos,

You’ll stay?

As I’ll stay too.

Quick! But I don’t chase,

So before you pull away,

Just know it won’t be the same.

A dreaded feeling all day about it,

And once your coldness hits me,

I couldn’t tell if I had predicted,

Or attracted it.

We are both sensitive,

Just in separate ways.

So maybe we aren’t that different,

Even though we don’t love the same.

I respect what you don’t say,

And appreciate what you show.

Filling your space with love & light,

I need it grown up.

No attention seeking,

No score for keeping,

No extras,

Just you & me.

You are so fixed,

My rock by the sea.

And I am the waves, 

Crashing & consuming.

A mermaid drifting,

And moving along the fluidity.

My truths seem to be stranger than fiction,

Might not be sweet to anyone but me.

–By Maroof

Solicitous

I’m the easiest soul to sail with,

So please don’t rock the boat.

I‘m a loving one,

I don’t care about friction,

But I‘ll fight for fairness.

Love wars,

I don’t want strategies.

Mind games,

I don’t want tragedies.

Keep it simple.

Peace on our piece of Earth.

Show love to someone who seems unlovable.

We’ve all carried a heavy heart,

But not all have been carried away in love.

If there is a heaven,

I’ve felt it.

And if there is a hell,

I’ve been there.

But if you know me,

You know how much I love.

And if I love you,

Know how far I‘ll go.

My soul‘s purpose?

To heal yours.

A soul‘s –

Recovery.

I hope the world, 

Do not change me.

Legend has it,

If a King & Goddess part,

With elements & cold hearts,

Then this will be the coldest winter of all.

I believe in a divine power, 

That drives the Earth,

A natural power that’s all around,

And most importantly within us.

 

–By Maroof

Wanderer

I’m convinced cynicism is contagious,

Fascinated by people puzzles.

If you can dish but you can‘t take,

Don’t challenge me to a fun sarcasm game.

It’s in my nature to mirror whom I interact with,

I chose kind & cool, 

Over pride & ego trips.

I trust my intuition,

Before another’s opinion,

I can feel for myself.

Not all minds fit in my destination,

Sorry to the ones who’ve been left behind.

I should not be afraid to love,

And why should I be afraid to confess,

If my love is my honesty?

I have no energy for enemies,

They’re present in peace or not at all.

I know I can fight like a warrior,

When that’s what I have to be.

See my dear! In the end,

The good one always wins.

These words I say,

I mean them,

Not because they sound good.

The thing about wanderers is,

We never know where we’ll end up the indefinite journey.

Swimming through a sea of thoughts,

Music, night & the moon,

I wander off.

Through the night,

I heal.

 

– By Maroof

Heart Art

Maybe the universe is kind to you,

When you are kind to the world.

He is my rock,

My stability to come back to while I swim,

When I‘m away searching for answers.

I feel him more clearly now.

My old soul meets his new soul.

Let me show you the way.

So as long as there is love to give & take,

Everything between us will remain the same.

Be my protector,

But learn what I need protection from.

Catching eyes,

So I stay close by his side.

I know where I belong,

I‘ll let them know this too.

It is –

A Heart Art.

I couldn’t find his heart on his sleeve,

So I listen when he speaks.

Hoping for secrets or keys,

Clues for me.

My darling! Has anyone ever loved you like this?

I speak in riddles,

He speaks with harshness.

We get nowhere with words.

If I want to be with him,

I have to sometimes be without him.

Scattered,

But then we come together.

I am too attached to this togetherness.

I want to touch him.

With my affections & thoughts.

Be mindful of your mood,

Cause it affects mine too.

Will stay beside you always, I vow,

Honey! Am I allowed to love you now?

 

 – By Maroof

 

Moon & Stars

I do belong to you.

Far away,

But we flow.

Like the moon & stars, 

You know?

To my soul,

Every characteristic you’ve shown.

Every quality you own,

Those softer pieces that only I’ve known.

Maybe I don’t say the right things enough,

And maybe you don’t open up,

But I like “us”,

I know your soul.

When I picture a King,

I see powerful energy,

Strength & integrity,

You’re that to me.

My moon & stars, 

You know?

– By Maroof

Gone

Sitting in a crowded room,

Neither happy nor full of gloom.

Feeling everything yet nothing at all,

Neither rising but not even ready to fall.

These mixed feelings are making me numb,

The emotions, I am going to snub.

I don’t feel love, I don’t feel pain,

Your endless efforts of making me your Juliet will now go in vain.

Don’t come for me; I am a stone,

That delicate little girl is gone.

 

– By Maroof

Reverse Fairy Tale

Trying to tempt me?

But I am no fool.

It took me this lifetime to find him,

And he isn’t you.

Your smell isn’t his,

I’ve saved my breath for him.

Your eyes are not his eyes,

So I don’t want to see.

He force feeds me evil words,

Then stands by his impulsive ways.

If I dished that aggression,

He couldn’t stomach it the same.

He’ll never know how it feels,

Because I’ll never treat him this way.

I wonder if he ever wanted me?

Even for just a minute or three.

Every cell of his appeals to me,

I love him so deeply.

I soften him,

And he hardens me.

He is a wildfire,

I am an emotional sea.

Powerful and deep on his solidity,

But he’ll never fall apart from me.

I’ve never chosen an easy path,

Neither did I love an easy person.

All I want is him and remorse,

I hope his pride won’t be a death of us.

I spoke what I could,

Until I hope he understood.

Spilling fears while he’s next to me,

I’m not used to vulnerability.

That one time,

I cried,

It was he to open communication lines,

I was too overwhelmed to speak what was inside.

I wished for him,

I got him.

The love of my life, but there are conditions.

As I was wishing I don’t remember making any deals.

I let the tears fall,

Until they drifted me into a dream.

This Earth will still spin,

Sun and Moon will still shine,

I choose to be happy in our whirlwind.

– By Maroof